Well I'm finally back in town... which reminds me to inform you all that I'll be out of town for the past week. So ummm yea, whoops. Anyhow, I'm back to my soul-crushing daily grind of work and little to no play. On a scale of 1-10, I would rate my current level of motivation as -23 (yes, negative 23), so I'm posting a good old fashioned list today!
(1) Although I'd like to say that my small vacation was more awesome than finding out every reality show on TV got canceled, unfortunately my wife and I were sick the entire time. Sick like knives-piercing-our-lungs-and-sinuses-while-coughing-up-green-swamp-creatures sick. Therefore as you might imagine, relaxation filled our days and romance wooed our nights. But a silver lining exists: I went to the doctor today and got codeine! Booyah! I haven't had this stuff since high school, so I'm looking forward to reliving youthful fantasies. Also, after a sizable dose earlier, I hope I don't wake up tomorrow morning to find this post is nothing more than random jumbled letters and numbers.
(2) I have officially given Kate Middleton and Prince William the following couple name: WillyKat. I also made fun of an In Touch Weekly article about them here. Be forewarned, you'll see a picture of a golden speculum and gossip about the Royal OBGYN. Take a second to let that soak in.
(3) I've been a naughty blogger and haven't had time to make my usual rounds to your blogs lately. Following a reprimanding wrist slap and a stern talking to, I promise to get back to visiting my wonderful students of Cynicism 101 over the next few days.
(4) It's officially summer weather, or as I like to call it, sweaty-ballsack-stuck-to-leg weather. Although I love the beach and ocean with every ounce of my cynical soul, heat is my kryptonite. I was born to bask in 60 degree air conditioning, most likely in order to play video games and be generally geeky.
(5) One of my Darwin Weeps tweets last week was the following: "Guy talking on your cell phone in the bathroom stall, how's the reception on your iFecal 4G?" To which someone replied, "I'm guessing it's shitty!" Now THAT'S what I'm talking about people, that's how you earn an A+.
(6) Did I mention I'm on codeine? I love you all so much... hey, when did Blogger start this new feature where all the words turn colors and float around? Because I think this could be the feature that crushes Wordpress. Maybe I should have only taken the recommended dose, and not had that wine either? I love you all so MUCH man!
(7) Hahaha - codeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeine.
(45) I... just sleepy ate the... water did dog play hahahaha. Wife cough ouch bed nice. Fark 09j7 plugsh ccoddeiiine frien#d fired eedr now%............,sdf.......o0p...............
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Codeine, WillyKat, and Summer
Welcome back I think Vinny was about to take out a restraining order on moi... but hey you saved the day and I am back in my psychotic haze of stalking you. Just made you feel all warm and fuzzy eh? Are you sure you want to be knocked out by Codeine and not aware of your surroundings? Just sayin'
This actually sounds pretty coherent for someone on codeine. Way to keep it together. Mostly.
I agree with Brent, and would also like to add the following: I wish I were on the drugs that you are... w/ a prescription, of course.
Holy crap (oh, whhpps) "shitty" reception. Combined with iFecal, gold plated toilet humor.
Enjoy the codeine.
Glad to read you're on the mend, Mr. C. Enjoy the codeine reprieve while you get well, I hear it tastes delightful with Sprite and Gummy Bears.
Heat is my Kryptonite too. I'll have to take your word for the sweaty-ballsack sticking to your legs though. Have you ever heard the acronym SAC? I heard for the first time from one of my brothers. He says, "Damn, I've got a bad case of SAC." I'm all, WTF??? He says, Sweaty Ass Crack...
@ Nubian: Hooray! I'll trim the hedges outside my house and make sure there's a clear line of site into all my windows.
@ Brent: Thanks Brent - I try. The real challenge will come during the work day when I pound another dose. We'll see how much I get done.
@ Sunshine: Right, of course. Maybe I should invent my own version of the "purple drank" and sell it!
@ Nicole: I see what you did there!
@ Emma: Hahaha, yes indeed. Drop some Jolly Ranchers in that shizz and watch the rainbows explode yo! 3-6-mafia fo life.
@ Meg: Yup. In my neck of the woods we used to refer to that as "swamp ass." SAC seems more tasteful - as tasteful as sweating ass references get I suppose.
fhwn 2jbi duvywr loaeu nhcuwne nzu3 458fh sknn oajdh jnfdu38 , right?
You crack me the hell up. Thanks for the laugh.
My wife and I went on vacation once and both were sick the entire time. Luckily we had a nice room to look at.
@ laughingmom: EXACTLY! Thank you for clarifying that - some people just don't get it.
@ Oilfield Trash: You're welcome good sir.
@ Bearman: It's a bummer huh. Those are definitely times when we wish we'd have upgraded to a nicer room...
WillyKat. I like that.
1 tsp means tablespoon, right? and never avoid alcohol when taking the codeine if wish to produce the desired effect.
ps: you should leave some in your medicine cabinet and invite me to your next party.
Codeine makes me sick. I'm glad you are on the mend. I love WillyKat. San Francisco has spoiled me. It's always 62 and partly cloudy. I don't do "hot". Can you get sick time instead of vacation because you were sick? We really love you so much too, Doc! But I'm not sure any of us really knows why. I'm totally distracted right now because there is a cute contractor working on the house across the street. I may have to finish this later.
Too hot, too sick, too drugged.
Welcome back, Goldilocks.
And despite your incapacitation, I offer you a swell blog award. Come to buildingcastlesonthebeach.blogspot.com to see.
@ J Bear Savo: I do too.
@ patty punker: I'm not sure there's going to be any left, or even enough to get me through the end of this week :-)
@ Linda: Whoa Linda - down girl! Down! If he's like any other contractor, he'll be around for a month or two working on a dirt simple project that should take a couple days max.
@ Antares: LOL! The Kind of Whiners I am indeed.
@ Brent: Well shucks! Thanks man! Headed there now...
Please tell me the coedine is to blame for your interest in WillyKat. Please tell me that even if it's a lie.
@ Logical Libby: I plead the fifth.
1. Yikes. Sorry you & the wife were so sick on your mini-vacation. That sucks. Enjoy the codeine!
2. I love the nickname WillyKat.
3. I've been a bad blogger lately, too. You're forgiven.
4. I love the summer, and thankfully, I don't have to worry about "sweaty-ballsack-stuck-to-leg-syndrome"
5. Ahahahhahahah! Now that's shitty! AAhahahha
6. & 7. Yes, codeine is good like that.
8. Nice one.
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