I have bad teeth. I've had them all my life. It doesn't matter what I do, or how much I take care of them, I get cavities EVERY time I go to the dentist. I have an insane oral hygiene routine, but it doesn't matter. And here's the kicker... dentists never believe me. Never. Ever. Here's a summary of my dentist visit yesterday:
So there ya go. I paid this shit bag to tell me that "cavities don't lie." Awesome.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Cavities do not lie
Nice lego suit Doc. Blahahahaha, now I have a awesome mental picture of you. And here I was thinking you were a "Bob the Builder" type!
Ha, good stuff. I hate the dentist and have had bad luck there too with cavities, root canals and crowns. I think there is something genetic about it, so there may not be much you can do. My parents have always done all the right things to take care of their teeth but have had problems anyway.
SD
simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com
Wait - how did you do this??? This is AWESOME.
First - I love the cartoon.
Second - Dr. Cynicism is hot. And surprisingly British. Who knew?
Third - I have terrible teeth too. Every time I go to the dentist, they act like they can publish a study on my mouth in some fancy journal. Like my cavities have cavities. I have dental shame - I've been meaning to write a post on it.
Fourth - Seriously how'd you make this cartoon? It's awesome.
If you get cavities every time you visit your dentist then ( and this is so obvious) isn't it time you stopped visiting the dentist?
sigh. i have always wanted to say 'fuck' to my dentist! especially when he's been brandishing a butcher's knife at me.
that movie was awesome. i don't think it's too soon to say it, definitely one of this year's oscar contenders...
I hate the dentist. I hate talking about the dentist. It took me years to get comfortable with mouthwash thanks to them.
Why do you sound like Ringo Starr?
Vodka – There is a correlation between being hot and being British.
I KNEW IT! I knew you were a lego person. Nothing against lego people, though. Nice people. Some of my best friends are lego people.
Judging from the meat-cleaver I'm guessing this isn't the first time that particular dentist has had to break bad news to you.
Who knew you sounded like a stuck up englishman.
Your dentist is only trying to console you. He doesn't want you to realize that this is a curse and God hates you. I'm proud of you for doing all you can despite the omnipotent power of heaven being against you.
@ frigginloon: What's wrong with the lego suit? I wear it to every class :-(
@ Simple Dude: Damn, that is not encouraging news. But I've heard of the genetic thing. I've also heard of more "acidic saliva." Neither of these woos the ladies, makes me feel better, or doesn't suck. So that in itself sucks.
@ Vodka and Ground Beef: First, I'm glad that you do. Second, I could try my best to deny it, but let's face it... I am hot. I'm steamy hot. Third, "my cavities have cavities." LOL. That is awesome, and sad... I feel your pain of dental shame :-( Fourth, if I tell you how to make one of these videos, you have to promise to include me in your first full-length feature film, or you can just give me a shout out, or you can give me a shout out by using me as an example of how shitty these movies can be and how awesome yours is, or you can not include me in any way and just pretend to, or you can not include me in any way and also pretend not to, or you can choose to do none of these things - and I'll still like you none the less and you'll remain one of my favorite blogs. Umm, where was I.... OH yea! Go to Xtranormal; http://www.xtranormal.com/index I can't wait to see what you create!
@ Miss Nikki: RIGHT?! That's what I'm screaming! But the wife screams back louder, and it scares me.
@ Kage: Ha! "I'd like to thank the Academy, all my students, and Kage for believing in me." (And by academy, I mean the Academy for Fart Jokes and Apathy)
@ Drake: We can fight our fears together! I'll go and get the bad news, and then you can go in and get the actual dental work done. Sound good? Great.
@ Vinny C: Don't knock us legos - we had a lot to do with the founding of this country. And yes, I felt strongly that the meat cleaver and blood stained apron was most fitting to represent my dentists.
@ Bearman: Oh yea? YOUR FACE. (See my previous blog post)
@ Fred Miller: If god hates me, then that means the devil loves me. I wonder which force has the most influence over dental issues... Hmmmm.
stop stealing my life.
i have successfully avoided the dentist for like 6 years. because of the same reason - i don't know what the F is wrong with our teeth??
i've already had a root canal and a filling in every tooth and i'm not even 30?!?! then when i'd go they'd say, oh it's time to get the cavities REFILLED cus they are leaking or whatever... its just ridiculous.
and what's with the novocane.. and why does it never WORK?
i'm just waiting til they fall out and then i'll get veneers
I had no idea you were British. Heh.
You and my daughter have the same problem. She brushes and flosses like a maniac, but because she has weak enamel, her dentist thinks I'm letting her gargle with fruit punch every night. I'm judged every time I take her in, dammit.
(SO gonna have to try out that movie thing.)
Hey, that the same dental regimen I follow, and I never get cavities...so it must be you and your defective genes. Have you thought about implants or crowns? i heard the son's doctor wants to go to medical school....
btw, that's freakin good movie, I am in awe of your talent, you da man....actually "YOU DA CAVITIES MAN!!!"
This post is giving me a total panic attack. You have NO idea how afraid I am of teeth problems. Hold on.... http://www.avapidblonde.com/?p=197
Also I am allergic to novocane with ephedrine in it and Dentists always like to give me that. It's totally fun to have your heart feel like it's about to bust out of your chest while getting your mouth molested.
On that note I have learned to love my dentist.
Fortunately, I have great teeth and a great dentist who is always committing on how pretty my teeth are. I do think it is a somewhat of genetic thing and I feel bad for anyone who has to have drills and noisy things inserted into their mouth at every dentist visit I do agree with A vapid blonde, it definitely is mouth molestation! :(
BRILLIANT video, Doc!
OMG, I laughed my ass off!
I've just recently started having some major stuff going on with my teeth. And even though I do take good care of them, it's all the old fillings and crowns that are giving me trouble. I can't WAIT to see how much this is going to cost me$$$$
Great post!
It's just like when I go to the gyno and they tell me my crotch is falling apart and out of me. I feel your pain.
That reminds me of when I was pregnant and I told the doc everything I ate every day for 2 weeks and she told me I was lying because I gained 10 lbs that week. sigh.
this is how i feel when i visit the obgyn. except less british and without the chops. the five o'clock shadow i can't always deny though.
@ bluntdelivery: Cavities leak?! WTF? Either way, I'm going to continue stealing your life... it's more adventurous that way :-)
@ Didactic Pirate: I'm not British - it just sounded better than the other male voices that software offers, haha! I guess I should clear that up since everyone is asking about it. Sorry that your daughter suffers the same probs. And I TOTALLY can't wait till you get a hold of that movie making program!
@ Alessandra: You know, I've wondered if it would be cheaper in the long run to bust out all my teeth and just get dentures or some shit...
@ A Vapid Blonde: I could see how racing heart and mouth molestation would condition you to love the dentist!
@ SSW: I'm jealous of your pretty and healthy teeth. You win, I lose.
@ Ron: yea, the $$ part is what kills me too. Like I said above, maybe busting them all out would be better!
@ KAP: Oh KAP, you and your crotch are always providing me joy :-)
@ Miley: HA! Wait, does my wife need to start tracking everything she eats whenever she gets prego?
@ pattypunker: ZING!! Five o'clock shadow on the who-hah, brilliant! haha
In an effort to divert my thoughts away from the whole cavity topic, I've been reading your comments and came upon one saying that you're hot, and so now I'm in search of your photo! Yes, I'm shallow, I make no apologies.
Vodka is right, you are hot!!
I love this cartoon so much. I am making one too. Only mine will be of my last physical exam.
It's gonna be hawt!!!
You would still be hot with no teeth ~ Do lego people even have teeth or am I generalizing again?
@ Sandra: There's nothing wrong with shallow, it's the yin of the yang's deep. Wow... that sentence was totally deep. I had no idea that ladies like the lego people so much. I should do more of these videos.
@ bschooled: More with the hotness... I'm hotter than a Hot Pocket. I'm thoroughly excited to see your upcoming movie! Can I be an extra?! Can I, can I?!
@ Nubian: Thank you Nubian! I mean hey, wouldn't the ladies appreciate a toothless man? As for the lego people, I'm not keenly familiar with their anatomy. I need to consult some of my colleagues in the medical department.
The same thing happens to me every time. Dentists just want to cause pain and make money (at least in America).
That's okay though because I love telling a story that starts with "Okay so you know that awful burning, eggy, metal smell of tooth fragments being turned into dust?"
I'm with you Doc. Dentists are evil sadistic pricks. What kind of sick fuck would even want to be a Dentist in the first place?
Well, yes, the Devil loves you. But only like a bitchy, selfish, high-maintenance woman. God hates you only because it amuses Him. He may still love you. One of those omnipotent things.
p.s. you = on my blogroll. check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Oh my God this is me!!!!!!!!!!! I have the worst teeth on earth. It's hereditary :( HORRIBLE!
I believe you!
p.s. You're my XXX button holder since yesterday until next Monday.
@ mattposky: Ok, so if this is a more popular problem than I previously thought, why the fuck are dentists assholes about it?!
@ justaskrod: Probably the kind of person that would wear a blood stained apron and wield a butcher knife in the office.
@ Fred Miller: I'm confused now. And a little scared, but slightly sad and excited.
@ bluntdelivery: Words... can't... describe... my... feelings. Let me resort to song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbUpPVOEkdA
@ Annah: You too?! Why do dentists hate us so?! Thank you for your support in my dental anguish. Also, I'm TOTALLY FRICKIN HONORED to be your XXX holder this week. THANKS SO MUCH! :-)
So funny. Love the cleaver. A dentist once told me that I have the bottom teeth of a 70 year old man. And then I had to pay that bastard.
@ dbs: See, that's the problem right there. We have to pay $$ to these shits to insult us. I'd rather just get free insults from my family and friends.
How is it out of all the people i know that don't floss they have no cavities but i floss on a regular and everytime i go to the dentist i have cavities which most them are on the same tooth but still it really bothers me that when i think that all of the cavities have been filled here comes some more. I know one time the dentist stated that I had 13 cavities!
@ Ms Hardy: This is exactly what I'm talking about! We should start a grass roots campaign to cause cavities in all the "never get cavities" people. Then see how THEY like that shit.
You have bad genes regarding your enamel. So do I. I'm not sure why you're blaming a dentist for that. You can blame me too, it'll have the same effect. Dude you sound like a brat.
@ Anon: Awwwwww, Mr. Poopy Panties is upset and doesn't understand humor or the post :-(
Omg this is me when I was 7 I had to get 4 cavities and now I am 13 and I have 3 more:(
that's scary
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