(1) I'm not going to acknowledge Thanksgiving in any way. It's over now, and every blogger in the world already talked about it, gave thanks in some way about some junk, made cute turkey pictures by tracing their hands, etc. I'm totally over it. (Shit, I guess I just acknowledged Thanksgiving)
(2) I duped yet another person into thinking this is a noteworthy blog. Nicole, over at Ninja Mom, awarded me with One Freakin Funny Blog award. Thanks so much! And for all my students, it would be wise to visit her site... I mean c'mon, she's a ninja... there's likely to be consequences if you don't. After all, a highly legitimate source tells me that most ninjas spend their time flying and stabbing.
(3) Sometimes, there's just nothing better than listening to an 80s song (excluding the thousand other better things that you could be doing), or watching its shitty and ridiculous video counterpart. This song makes me nostalgic for some reason, making me wish I was back in the shades of my younger days doing all those silly drugs I used to do (allegedly).
(4) I apparently love lists, because I realized that a lot of my posts include them. If lists make it easy for all of you to take notes in class, then I'll continue to do so.
(5) Guess what goes wonderfully with leftover turkey?! Absolutely nothing at this point; I'm sick of it. (Dammit, I guess I just acknowledged Thanksgiving again)
(6) Ready for another 80's song? I knew you were, I knew you were... this one makes me nostalgic in a mostly sad, yet slightly happy way. Does it tickle the loins of your mind in any way?
(7) I found out that steamed soy milk at Starbucks is called a "Soy Steamer." (Don't worry, I don't actually order/drink that crap, my wife does) Anyhow, Soy Steamer sounds like a shameful sexual/fetish act performed by vegans. It may also double as my new insult for this week... I'll let you know how it goes.
(8) Sometimes, when I'm at work and sleeping at my desk being extremely productive, I have work-related nightmares. One involves the old professor across the hall from me that smells like licorice. In the dream, he comes creeping into my office, unnoticed at first. Soon though, my kung fu instincts kick in, and I become overwhelmed with the odor of black licorice, and as I gaze up at the door, he gives me the wink-and-the-gun and then lunges for my jugular with a rusty pocket knife while staining my shirt with his old man Werther's Original spittle. I'm not sure of the psychological significance behind this enigma but it's interfering with my nap time, gaming, tweeting, staring blankly at the wall productivity at work.
(9) I'm soon going to be in the market for a new laptop AND cell phone. This thrills and excites me because I love technology like a ninja that pays his child support on time (<--- entirely random and nonsensical simile). I'm a techy gadget geek.
(10) I like even numbered lists. I also used the word "ninja" 4 times in this post, and was tempted to use it 5 times. But I guess I like even numbered ninjas too.
Monday, November 29, 2010
The ADD is upon me
I personally prefer odd numbered ninjas, although with your last mention did it actually become five mentions??
Wait, with my mention it's back to even again. Fuck, i'm just going to shut up and go watch more Corey Hart videos.
What? That's his only one? Dammit!!
SD
simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com
So when I was in middle school, I was on the Gymnastics team and we lived in the middle of BFE so going to other schools for competitions was A LONG TRIP - we listened to Corey Hart for an entire seasons straight and guess which gymnast could sing I Wear My Sunglasses at Night the best? Yep! Something to really brag about, dontcha think??
I often have work related nightmares as well. Most of which have to do with the troll looking receptionist.
Who the hell would divorce a Ninja? Brave!
@ Simple Dude: Hmm... I think you're right. The last ninja was technically 5, so I guess I was almost going to use 6, but if the... your mention was... fuck it.
@ Kristen: That is exactly what vlogging is for... I expect to see some videos soon, right?!
@ Oilfield Trash: Ouch. I hear that some ladies like spa gift certificates?
@ frigginloon: Damn! I never thought of it that way... brave indeed!
Hey, don't knock the soy steaming until you try it. I think you'll find it's most enjoyable. Don't forget the froth...
Damn it I knew I was missing out on something not being a vegan!
"Who the hell would divorce a Ninja? Brave!"
Who the hell could find the ninja to serve him divorce papers.
I looked up the outfield to see if I knew any other songs...amazingly I knew several.
I'm going to acknowledge Thanksgiving one more time: I'm thankful none of my profs smelled like black licorice. Not a fan.
Keep listing, you're good at it.
Thanks for pimping my to your students.
Nicole, Ninja Mom
Know what's even cooler than even numbered ninjas? Chuck Norris! He kicks ninja ass.
There are only two types of dreams I have that I count as nightmares: 1. zombies, 2. anything work related - not necessarily in that order.
Oh, The Outfield were great. My favorite was "Tonight."
Don't forget Joan Jett. "I Love Rock and Roll." I can smell the '80s when I hear that.
@ singlegirlie: Froth?! ZING! You win tonight's biting wit award!
@ SSW: For all the horrible substitute foods that they eat, they have to make up for it somehow...
@ Bearman: "Who the hell could find the ninja to serve him divorce papers." A better trained ninja.
@ Nicole: I was more than happy to pimp you... come back any time you need pimping. Or just join class and be a regular!
@ vickilikesfrogs: It's rumored that Chuck Norris only fears one man... and that man is a ninja.
@ Vinny C: Would a dream about zombies invading your workplace be the worst experience of your life then? Or technically, would it be the best... since you would likely get to leave work early?
@ Fred Miller: I'll have to check that other Outfield song out. I only remember like 2 or 3 of their songs.
I'm going to acknowledge Thanksgiving one more time too. I'm grateful I found this blog - because you are friggen hilarious. Ninja mom was right to award you! And I'm not just agreeing with her because she's a ninja.
Doc Sin...those are the 3rd and 5th songs that I had sex to on my wedding night.
Thank you for bringing back those beautiful memories.
And a big shout out to my ex, who I trust is doing beautiful things now as a nun in Honduras.
I feel a little dirty watching those videos...
I like lists way better than paragraphs. I can read one, and be productive, and watch a video and be productive and move on to the next one with out interuppting my train of ninjas.
Oh thank god you didn't mention Thanksgiving...I swear I was going to shoot a turkey if I had to read another "I'm so grateful for my kids" post.
On another point, I like lists too. They're straight forward.
I'm already your follower, but if I wasn't, you would have had me with the 80s song. I'm easy like that.
I had a nightmare that a bunch of hippies were doing something sexually terrifying to me... I won't explain what it was, but clearly, you just gave it a name. The Soy Steamer.
Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to go curl up into a ball in the corner of the room and cry.
1. The Corey Hart video would have been perfect for a little pre-Thanksgiving cocktail hour. Damn, I acknowledged Thanksgiving too. I wasn't going to acknowledge it on your blog.
2. The SOY STEAMER?!!! HI-LARIOUS. It totally sounds sexual.
I hope the assignment this week is not to have a Soy Steamer unless it involves leather, whipped cream and rope.
Oh, yeah. They have to lose "Steamer". When I taught high school I convinced the kids to stop saying "shit" by switching it to "steamer." They loved it.
You're on my W.O.W. (Website of the Week) button now through next Wednesday. Keep up the good work, Doc!
Funny thing you mention licorice. It's been known to decrease testosterone levels. Any relation to sword wielding ninjas you think? Just wondering.
@ meleah: Thanks! (shh! she's right behind you! she's sooo sneaky!)
@ Denny: What was the first and second song? By the way, you now remind me of Quagmire from Family Guy :-)
@ xoxoxo: omg... ninja train. that's a brilliant idea!
@ Sandra: I'm not thankful for their kids either. Also, you really have to watch yourself when Denny is around. Can't be saying things like you're "easy."
@ Kev D: Legend has it that in some hippie towns, the Soy Steamer is accompanied by a hacky sac.
@ Vodka: Well, thanks for trying anyhow. Maybe I'll come over and acknowledge Thanksgiving on your blog - even though it's like seriously over now.
@ Nubian: If you do decide to complete that homework, PLEASE don't turn anything in to me. I'll just take your word for it and give you an A+.
@ Fred Miller: LOL! I love it! I'm going to try it with my undergrads; they have the minds of middle schoolers anyhow. And thanks so much for making me your WoW button!! AWESOME!
@ wordwanderlust: I guess the ninjas stay away from it. They can sense the ingredients and side effects of any edible substance - from 20 feet away. Totally true.
Doc, you make me laugh. Thank you.
I've made a full-time switch to work related dreams. Haven't had anything whimsical or fantasy-related in quite a while. Sad, really.
Nice blog. glad I found it.
i never know what to write on ppls thanksgiving posts so im glad you didnt make it about thanksgiving one way or another. phewwwww
hehe
@ justaskrod: Rod, you are welcome.
@ Straight Guy: I'm sorry that work has stripped you of fanciful nighttime adventures. Fight back by being cynical 24/7. And glad you found our class too! Welcome!
@ susi spice: Looks like you lucked out!
1. well, there you go scoring more twinsies points.
2. i love a numbered list.
3. it has to do partially with my organizational tendencies and partially with my awesomeness.
4. i would BE an 80's song if i could. i currently have a "thefricken80s" playlist on my ipod and listen to it when i need to be in my best of best moods.
5. it bothered me this list wasn't going to end at a multiple of 5, so i added this last line.
@ bluntdelivery:
1. your matching friendship bracelet is in the mail. i'm also sending along half of a heart shaped necklace charm.
2. me too
3. i'm going out on a limb and suspecting that it's entirely due to your awesomeness
4. i think you already ARE an 80s song - or at least a montage.
5. understood
6. but my lists have to be even numbered (as stated previously in the post)
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