Mail Bag

I'll mail your face off.

Hahaha, I said "bag" (cue Beavis & Butthead laugh).  Sorry... anyhow, since I have an unbelievable amount of work looming over me, I thought I'd ignore it and take the time to answer a few reader emails!  Pay attention, because there is a homework assignment at the end.  Here we go, in the order that I received them:

1) Yes.

2) Primarily on weekends and holidays.  Once for Easter, but the resulting restraining order is a story for another day.

3) Wow.  That's literally impossible to answer, simply because I think ALL of them are the best episodes.  If a gun was to my head, I'd say the ones that feature the entire Bluth family throughout the episode.

4) 2 parts single malt whisky, 1 part soda water, 4 parts immaturity, 2 parts self loathing, 16 parts PBR, 1 part fire, 1 half-empty jar of Crisco, 1 broken window, and no pants.

5) Interesting perspective.  But honestly, I'm a firm believer that the entire Chuck Norris joke phenomenon actually originated from a series of sketches about Bill Brasky on Saturday Night Live.  The sketch routinely featured Will Ferrell, David Koechner, and Mark McKinney.

6) Just off the top of my head, and in no particular order: Brian Regan, Louis C. K., Dave Attell, Todd Barry, Patton Oswalt, Bill Burr, and Bill Hicks.  I'm sure I'm forgetting some.

7) Penultimate.

8) Because I wanted to give people a look at college from a professor's perspective.  As bewildering as it may seem, your professors are people too, with senses of humor and human emotion (okay, arguably only about 14% of them are like this - usually only the ones early in their careers like me).  In addition, it provides me a way to vent my lowbrow inner child.

9) Um... no.

10) Part 1: Angela Lansbury and/or Constantinople.  Part 2: Something along the lines of Thunderrod McHunterdale III (the "III" is absolutely critical for establishing lineage and status).

11) I'm sorry you feel that way (but not really).  Good talk.

That's it for this time.  Glad we were able to clear all that up!  Your homework, if you choose to accept it, is to take a guess at what some of the questions were - notice that they range in difficulty.  Or even better, and demonstrating copious amounts of creativity, tell me what you wanted those questions to be, or what you think the questions should have been based on the answers.  As always, post your assignments in the comments below, and if you don't do the homework, feel free to comment anyway.