I got sick in my pants

This beauty of a phrase was uttered in total sincerity, and with a straight face, by a grown man in front of a room full of scientists/researchers. It was his brutally honest-to-god explanation for why he needed to leave one of our experiments mid-session earlier that day. Although I did not witness these events first-hand, lab assistants tell me that things unfolded roughly as follows:

(1) in the middle of an experiment, the participant exclaims he needs to use the bathroom - RIGHT NOW

(2) he races out the door, while assistants begin to notice that the room is filling with a majestic, other-worldly fragrance

(3) after the assistants engage in several bouts of dry heaving and laughter, the man returns to say, "Sorry about that! I got sick in my pants."

You couldn't make this shit up.