The Bipolars

So I was hard at work in my office grading papers a few weeks ago.  Right outside my window, which was open, a pair of lovely over-the-hill women (wearing enough Dollar Store perfume to suffocate a small village) decided to stop and converse with each other. One of these women was clearly in charge of the conversation and likely chose to stop walking in order to truly capture the attention of her friend, to really "send the message home."

As I think back now, I can only describe her angelic voice as that of a mythical siren... luring in any passerby with the heavenly sound of vocal chords that have been swimming in 5-packs-a-day Virginia Slims' smoke for the past 48 years. I'd further venture to say that her nightly oral hygiene regimen involves glass/asphalt gargling coupled with alcohol rinses - but I digress.

Anyhow, the deep, phlegm gurgling, thick Brooklyn accent proclaims: "LISTEN! Listen to me hon. He's got the bipolars (*pronounced bi-poh-luhz*). It's clear as day. He is up, down, left, and right. Up... down... left... right."

I just LOVE the common person's perspective and description of psychological disorders. Yea, yea, I understand that not everyone is properly aware of all the intricacies of the diagnostics, but c'mon, you KNOW that some of these people firmly believe in what they're saying and describing - it's beautiful. These folks not only have a masterful conceptualization of psychiatric disorders, but an even greater ability to eloquently describe psychopathologies in precise scientific terms. I'm willing to bet that "up, down, left, right" is now a formal descriptor in the DSM-IV-TR for bipolar disorder, and if it's not, I shall take the appropriate steps to make it so.