Friday, March 21, 2014

Fuck You Friday: Late Edition

Whoops! I'm late to the game this Friday... but alas, better late than never. I don't want any of your "fuck yous" to stay bottled up for another week. Can't be havin' any of that--I don't need anymore blood on my hands.

Fittingly, today's lateness reflects something that happened to me earlier this week. I was late for an important committee meeting. And you know what? I didn't give a shit. Not a single shit nor fuck. Unlike any other time, I simply sat down, didn't give anyone an excuse, and wore an eat-shit grin on my face nearly the entire time. I think this is what my many therapists would describe as "successful coping!" Go me!

Alright gang, enough of the pleasantries. It's time for you to vent your frustrations--let's have it!

Friday, March 14, 2014

Fuck You Friday: Done Caring Edition

Welcome back my cynical students! What's that you say?? You need to get something off your chest? You need to bitch about the idiocy you've been contaminated with this past week? Well then, aren't you glad it's Fuck You Friday time!

Let us have it. Don't hold back or it'll burn a hole inside your brain... let it all out. I'll make my contribution in the comments section... so should you!

Friday, March 7, 2014

Fuck You Friday: "Long Overdue" Edition

Holy hell... Fuck You Friday rides again! Woot!!! Welcome back to your weekly place to rant and rave about anything that has pissed you off over the past week. If you're new around here, each Friday readers will use and abuse the comments section as if it was their very own psychotherapist, spewing and venting any pent up rage from the week. But what if you're the kind of person who doesn't harbor any anger, you ask? Then you can GTFO cuz you're not welcome here.

Since Fuck You Friday has been on a year-long hiatus, you folks better BRING IT this week. Like, bring the shit out of it. And then tell your friends about Fuck You Friday. And then tell your friends to bring it. And then tell all of them to bring the shit out of it. You should be detecting a trend at this point.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Well, hello there!

Instead of pretending that it hasn't been over a year since my last post, I guess I'll reluctantly do one of those quick here's-what's-been-going-on posts to get everyone up to speed. But for future reference... I'm back, filled with cynicism, in desperate need of venting, and can't wait to get "Fuck You Friday" back on track!

So what has your cynical professor been up to this past year? What's been ensuring that this blog never got on his to-do list for 13 months?

1. Remember that whole new baby thing? So it turns out they eat up a lot of time and energy. Like, he's always wanting food, attention, and resources... what the FUCK. I'm like, "get a god damn job and start pulling your own weight here man." One-year-olds can mow the lawn or some shit, right? Right.

2. Remember that whole new job, new city thing? That's still happening. It still kicks ass too, except for the part where my to-do list fills up multiple computer screens.

3. I had a dream about 5 months ago involving a shortage of apple sauce in America and a talking cow.

4. It turns out I still really enjoy making lists in blog posts. Oh and I'm on a minimalism kick right now... so I cut out all the excess in the blog (content and design). You likey? I may toy around with the design more, as I'm sure so many of you give a shit. I'll just stop talking about this now.

5. Television happened. The return of Arrested Development came and went; I was underwhelmed (except for Portia de Rossi's malpractice-lawsuit face, daaaamn). House of Cards kicked ass and I'm waiting on Mrs. C to catch up so I can start season 2. DON'T YOU DARE put any spoilers in the comments section or I will come to your home and taint-spank your thunder-pudding... you and your whole family. I watched both Sherlock and Elementary -- I can appreciate both, but I'm team Elementary (I like the greater deviation from the original plot/stories).

[EDIT: 6. Turns out another thing I missed was the closing of Google Reader and how that made me lose all of my RSS feeds from my favorite bloggers. Sigh... I've got a lot of catching up to do now. Fuck.]

So yea, those things totally occupied a year of my time, and now you are completely caught up. So what can you expect from Cynicism 101 in the near future? Broadly, whatever the fuck I decide to post -- I kid. Really though, "Fuck You Friday" is totally coming back (I miss the shit out of that). You can also expect a few conversations between me and my brain, I'll answer any new mail that comes in, I'll try to keep Dr. Optimism away, and expect to see me on Twitter. Booyah.